The paper is repetitive when "this source" is written over and over again. You do not need to constantly address it as "this source". The paper reads more as an outline than an actual paper. While writing your paper, you should not address what you are planning on writing about. It should be clear with your thesis and paragraphs. The thesis is not clear. It says the paper is about black males and masculinity, but it seems to be more about stereotypes. You also need proof if you make a statement, such as when you say "This source helps shape my research paper because there are many black males that feel like slavery plays a role in how they function in society and affect their masculinity." You should give examples of the black males that feel this way. Always give proof and examples for the statements you make in a paper.
In the future, please inform me that you are including several assignments in one document.
ReplyDeleteThere is no first draft here? Where is your first draft of research paper #1?
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ReplyDeleteThe paper is repetitive when "this source" is written over and over again. You do not need to constantly address it as "this source". The paper reads more as an outline than an actual paper. While writing your paper, you should not address what you are planning on writing about. It should be clear with your thesis and paragraphs. The thesis is not clear. It says the paper is about black males and masculinity, but it seems to be more about stereotypes. You also need proof if you make a statement, such as when you say "This source helps shape my research paper because there are many black males that feel like slavery plays a role in how they function in society and affect their masculinity." You should give examples of the black males that feel this way. Always give proof and examples for the statements you make in a paper.
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